bummed

I’m so bummed. My dad called me yesterday to tell me he and my step-mom can’t come to the wedding after all. My step-mom has cancer and she’s doing chemo right now and really won’t be fit to travel. So I totally understand why they can’t come and why he doesn’t want to leave her, but it still makes me sad.

October 2, 2007. family, wedding. Leave a comment.

running & self esteem

So I started a half marathon training class about a month ago.  I was not a runner prior to this and I still have to incorporate walking into my running because I’m a novice, but I ran/walked 5 miles last Saturday so you know I’m working it.  Anyway, I thought starting this really regimented running routine would make me drop like 15 lbs before the wedding, and I did lose like 6 pounds the first 2 weeks of the class.  I’ve gained it all back though and I’m really bummed.

I have been working all summer on my fitness/weight and I feel like the harder I try the less results I see.  I watch what I eat, I was walk/running all summer at least 3x’s a week and doing pilates like 2-3x’s a week and I lost like 2 lbs.    So now to drop below a threshold I had been struggling to break only to have it come back when I know I’m working my ass off really sucks.

And while the running is starting to make me more confident and less worried about others’ perception of me, these set backs on the scale just put me in a tail spin.  I did my make up yesterday and took pics to test the photo quality and all I could see in those pics was how wide my face is, and how terrible my under eye bags are.  I do not feel like I am going to look cute in my wedding pics at all.  I feel like a fat cow.  I hate this.

October 2, 2007. anxiety, beauty, health, fitness, wedding. Leave a comment.

poor me

So I’m not one for self-pity, but I have to say I’m feeling jealous and a bit depressed about my “bachelorette” situation. My sister is throwing me a wonderful shower in a couple of weeks, and I’m totally psyched that I’m getting something that really fits me.

My fiancé is getting a bachelor’s weekend this weekend though and I found out today that they are going to New Orleans. I’m bummed. The Italian and I both lived in New Orleans (not together or even at the same time), and I have a special love for the city. If I could pick a dream bachelorette party (money no object), I’d so pick New Orleans. I’m sure he feels the same way, and so I’m excited that he’s getting this great party, but I’m bummed that I’m not.

I wish women had this notion of bachelorette weekends, or maybe they do I it’s just that my friends don’t live close enough to me or have the disposable income to pull something like this off.

*sigh*

August 31, 2007. friends. Leave a comment.

people we don’t need any more s**t

So one of the things that’s annoying the hell out of me is the fact that even though we’ve talked to the Italian’s mom about our ideal gift (that would be cash) she STILL keeps asking why we don’t have any flatware listed. Seriously, WTF? We are two grown adults (ages 35 and 39) who each owned our own houses before we started living together, we have flatware.  We have linens.  We also have bath towels and serving platters and appliances and cookware. We need furniture, and we’d like to pick it out ourselves so just give us the cash, and please stop nagging us about the registry and what you’d like to see in it. Damn.

August 29, 2007. family, gifts, registry. Leave a comment.

the facts

In 2 months I will have a small wedding (24 people) on the island of Tortola in the British Virgin Islands, and I’m super excited. We are psyched to have a destination wedding and I really feel like I am avoiding a ton of stress by doing it this way. We are also planning a reception at home for a month after the wedding and while that is a bit more stressful/hard, we really are looking forward to that party as well.

So everything is running smoothly and it’s just perfect right? I mean I’m getting married on a beach in paradise, our family and friends will be there, we’re having a kick ass party later with hopefully the rest of our family and friends. It sounds great right?

It is pretty great, but (there’s always a but) there are also issues, stresses and annoyances, not to mention so many things to do and details to work out that I feel like my brain might explode from all the information. So I thought getting it out of my head and off my chest would help me retain some semblance of sanity as I edge closer to my big day and let me let go of the petty things that are annoying me.

So welcome, and enjoy!

August 29, 2007. planning, wedding. Leave a comment.

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